New Widow Adapation

Spouse , departure has left a big gap for me to fill....

He is my companion , my partner ....

We were supposed to walk hand in hand into our Autumn years...

Enjoy our harvest when the girls grow up....

Now I have to find ways to fill this Big Gap....

This road will be tough for me...I will learn to be strong....

Although out of 365 days ....he is away for 180 days....
But we expect him to come back each time at the end of his trip...

Now he is not coming home now....
‎22 years ago before you came into my life....I was able to live without you...
So now must learn to live withou you

My New Role-Widow (Adapation)

Yes, I am a woman that hardly weeps and screams out when face with problems...

I tend to vent my frustration by writing out my unhappiness...
To me a Pen is mighter than a Sword....
So vent my unhappiness in through forums and now by blogging

...lor...

My kids suggest that I should take USS Roller Coaster or Mummy Rider to scream out my unhappiness....

But I told them , what happen if I have a heart attack....during the rides
Then both of them will become orphans...cannot take risk....

Now taking Baby Steps to adapt to this new Widow Role....

One important lesson I wish to share is:

"Never let your spouse pass away before you....
It is very pain and hurtful to bury someone you loved...."

That is why I feel the pain of the Japanese survivors of the recent disaster...
The mental torturing these survivors have to go through....

MY NEW ROLE -WIDOW

Became a Widow , after hubby lost his battle with CHEMO ....not Cancer.... 3 months ago

I still think Chemo kill him....

Till today , I still cannot accept that I am a WIDOW....

To me Widows are supposed to be old ...in their 70s or 80s surrounded by grown up children and grandchildren....
Grey hair , Long sighted....

I do not belong to this Group.....is it just a BAD Dream....???

But the truth is it is not a BAD Dream....

I now have to lead a NEW LIFE as Widow....

For the last few months , I tried to face the society with my new identiy...
I see a lot of human side....Bad and Good
There are people who will avoid me...thinking ...I am now in fiance difficulty....

Do not like this new Widow Role...... This new role has forced me to :
a)Refresh my Driving skills after 8 years....of always being the passenger...
b)Learn how to write cheques...pay bills...become a HAndy Woman...
c)Take on the father role....(the mother and father is me...)
d)hate weekends and public holidays....


So I am still adjusting my Roller Coaster emotion....on how to like my New Role as a Widow...